IELTS Commentry: IELTS essay, topic: Crime rates are likely to decline due to the advancements in technology (agree/disagree)

This essay topic was seen in a recent IELTS test in the UAE

Crime rates are likely to decline due to the advancements in technology, which will help prevent and solve crimes in an easier way. Do you agree or disagree?

Sample Band 8 Essay

Nowadays technology is advancing faster than ever and many fields are benefitting from the opportunities this trend presents. Some think that crime prevention can be one possible application of new technologies, by allowing to deter offenders or solve crimes in a faster and easier way. In my opinion, innovation in crime prevention can be a game-changer that will reduce both the number of crimes committed and the time it takes to catch those responsible for them.

Not everyone is optimistic about the prospects of the use of new technologies in crime prevention, and those who subscribe to the more pessimistic view say that advanced technologies can be accessed by criminals, therefore raising the crime rates. Such tools can, indeed, cause more damage if they fall in the wrong hands; however, it would require the offenders to be highly skilled to be able to use the modern technologies. Statistically, many of them tend to have a lower level of education, and for that reason they are likely to stick to the old ways of committing crimes, whereas the minority of highly skilled criminals are unlikely to make a big difference to the crime levels.

Law enforcement workforce, on the other hand, has a much better grip on modern technology. Nowadays police officers and detectives undergo special training, take regular skill update courses, and use high-tech equipment. Facial recognition and thermal imaging are just two examples of the important tools that police are already using to find and catch offenders faster. Ordinary citizens can do their part in preventing burglaries by installing sophisticated systems with sensors, CCTV video feed and various alarms to detect and deter thieves. The combined effort will, no doubt, push the crime curve down.

To sum up, even though the wonders of technology are available to everyone, it seems to me that they will better assist law enforcement in solving crimes, and law-abiding citizens in protecting themselves and their property, rather than felons. This will tip the balance in favour of reduction in crime rate and make the world a safer place.

Teacher’s comment: The writer fully addressed all parts of the task in their response. Their ideas are well-developed, extended and supported. Paraphrasing, referencing, substitution, sequencing of information and paragraphing are skillfully used in this essay, contributing to its high level of cohesion and coherence. The wide range of vocabulary and accurate word choice allows the writer to convey their message precisely. This essay has many examples of uncommon lexical items, all appropriately used. The writer has a great control of grammar, they follow the rules of punctuation and use complex sentence structures very well. Overall, this essay is likely to get Band 8 or 8.5 in IELTS

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