IELTS Commentry: IELTS essay, topic: Young people are finding it harder to find permanent jobs (reasons and solutions)

In many countries, young people are finding it harder and harder to find permanent jobs. Why is this happening? What can be done to improve the situation?

Sample Band 8 Essay

In this fast-moving age, with the development of education and modern technologies, people strive to have a secure job after graduating from colleges and universities. Despite their efforts, so many young adults in different parts of the world have a negative experience of finding a long-term job.

It so happens that most colleges and universities focus on students’ academic performance much more than their practical skills. Unfortunately, many companies reserve permanent job opportunities for experienced applicants because there is no need to invest much in their training. Lack of practical experience in new graduates puts them at a disadvantage as far as companies are concerned. The situation is made worse by the abundance of advanced technologies that can easily replace human labor. Robots and computers work more efficiently and with higher precision than humans. That shrinks the pool of available job placements even more, as companies only need to hire highly educated and experienced staff.

Fortunately, there is a number of solutions that can help inexperienced workers gain permanent employment. An obvious one is that universities could offer internships to their students, or arrange workshops in addition to classwork. This would help students to get training and experience in their respective fields. Also, the government could examine the demands of changing labor market and steer young people towards professions that will be popular in the coming years. Together with colleges and universities the government could create special awareness programs for graduates, providing them with an overview of various job offers and their benefits. This way students would be able to choose the right jobs for themselves.

To sum up, lack of demand in the labour market and insufficient experience are two major reasons why many young people have trouble finding a permanent position. Helping them gain hands-on experience as part of their studies and educating them about career options early on is key to improving the employment outcome for them.

Teacher’s comment: This is a well-developed response that addresses all parts of the task. The writer discussed the reasons why young adults have trouble finding permanent jobs and also offered some solutions. The information is organised well and there is clear progression throughout. The writer used a wide range of vocabulary with great flexibility and their control of grammar and punctuation is impressive. Well done, this essay is worthy of Band 8.

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