IELTS Commentry: IELTS essay, topic: The number of advertisements for charities is increasing, what is causing this?

This is a model response to a Writing Task 2 topic from High Scorer’s Choice IELTS Practice Tests book series (reprinted with permission). This answer is close to IELTS Band 9.

Set 5 General Training book, Practice Test 21

Writing Task 2

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Write about the following topic:

The number of advertisements for charities on television and the Internet seems to be increasing. What is causing this? Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

You should write at least 250 words.

Sample Band 9 Essay

It indeed appears true that the frequency with which advertisements for charities appear both on television and the Internet seems to be increasing. There can be various explanations for this and it can be seen in both a positive and negative light.

One explanation for the increase in the number of charity advertisements is that the charities themselves are becoming more aggressive in their marketing. This can also be seen in the common strategy nowadays to encourage a monthly donation, rather than a one-off donation. The increased marketing is apparent too in the increased numbers of ‘street salespeople’, who stop passersby and try to get them to commit to this monthly payment.

A second reason for the increase could also be that there have been more charities started and the number of advertisements would therefore increase and become more noticeable. If these charities are all legitimate, this would mean that more help will be getting to causes that need it. The increase in charities could also be explained by a possible increase of humanitarian awareness. People might be now adopting different ideologies that take into account people in less advantageous positions.

If the number of advertisements for charities has risen due to the fact that there has been a positive shift in people’s compassionate principles, this surely has to be seen as an optimistic development. If it is due to the fact that governments have been cutting back, it could be seen as a pessimistic development. In addition, if there are more charities asking for more money, this will inevitably mean that the amount of money donated will have to be more thinly spread, which would be a negative development.

There could be several reasons for why there are more charity advertisements today. Whatever the reasons, as long as any money is helping people in disadvantageous positions, it must be seen as a positive development.

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